Background: Theoretically, reductions of self‐esteem among people who stutter (PWS) are often explained by individual negative cognitions or emotions of the PWS or their conversation partners. We propose that the flow of a conversation can be seen as a representation of the relationship between speakers, and that by disrupting this flow, a stutter may directly threaten this relationship, and in turn affect self‐esteem. Methodologically, we present a new, event‐contingent, method that assesses fluctuations in self‐esteem over time and thereby allows one to assess the predictive value of specific conversational experiences. Aims: To have both a theoretical and a methodological contribution on conversational disfluency. Methods & Procedures: Our focus is not on stable individual factors, but we expect that fluctuations within the flow of everyday conversations predict changes in self‐esteem. We studied these fluctuations with an experience sampling method which prompted participants to answer a brief survey after each of 10 conversations in a 2‐week period. Self‐identified PWS (n = 58) and people who do not stutter (PWNS; n = 53) reported on their individual negative cognitions and emotions and experienced relational quality and state self‐esteem in more than 1000 conversations. By assessing fluctuations in self‐esteem over time, this method allows one to assess the predictive value of specific conversational experiences. Outcomes & Results: Correlational evidence demonstrates that flow disruptions are associated with temporary reductions in self‐esteem. This association is mediated by increased individual negative cognitions and emotions, as well as threatened social relationships. This appeared to be true for both PWS and PWNS, although PWS experienced on average less conversational flow and lower state self‐esteem. On average, PWS did not experience lower relational quality than PWNS. Conclusions & Implications: An event‐contingent recording method is a useful way to assess momentary fluctuations in self‐esteem. Findings are consistent with the notion that people monitor their relationship by attending to fluctuations in conversational flow; whereas a smooth conversational flow indicates a strong relationship, disruptions of flow (e.g., as caused by a stutter or other factors) signal a threat to the relationship. What this paper adds: What is already known on the subject: Even though adverse effects of stuttering on the experience of self‐esteem have been reported, the evidence for this relation is equivocal. Because the evidence is mixed, it becomes interesting to examine the processes that provide insight in how stuttering may affect self‐esteem. Theoretically, reductions of self‐esteem among PWS are often explained by individual negative cognitions or emotions of the PWS or their conversation partners. Methodologically, studies examine this relation by single self‐report measures, or by laboratory studies. What this paper adds to existing knowledge: Our theoretical model shows that the flow of a conversation can be seen as a representation of the relationship between speakers, and that by disrupting this flow, a stutter directly threatens this relationship, and in turn, affects self‐esteem. Methodologically, we present a new, event‐contingent, method that assesses fluctuations in self‐esteem over time and thereby allows one to assess the predictive value of specific conversational experiences. What are the potential or actual clinical implications of this work?: Going beyond the study of stable individual cognitions and emotions of PWS and listeners, our findings show that a close examination of between‐conversation fluctuations in flow can teach us about the day‐to‐day reality of people living with speech disorders, and the way they develop relationships and self‐esteem. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]