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On the wall of Susanna Reid's Good Morning Britain dressing room is a framed newspaper story declaring the show so terrible it would be 'Cancelled by Christmas'. It was published in 2014, just after launch, and ran next to a picture of a topless 'stunna'. Years later the paper's editor would send Susanna a copy of this early obituary along with a congratulatory note pointing out that one of those things had been consigned to history — and it wasn't GMB. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

WHAT'S ON [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

PHILIPPE CLEMENT has told his out-of-contract players they can still earn new deals by delivering for Rangers in their final six matches of the season. The Belgian remains hopeful that John Lundstram will reject interest from elsewhere and put pen to paper at Ibrox. The futures of other first-team regulars are also up in the air with the manager yet to confirm if Leon Balogun, Borna Barisic, Ryan Jack or Kemar Roofe have been invited to extend their stays at the club. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

PHILIPPE CLEMENT has told his out-of-contract players they can still earn new deals by delivering for Rangers in their final six matches of the season. The Belgian remains hopeful that John Lundstram will reject interest from elsewhere and put pen to paper at Ibrox. The futures of other first-team regulars are also up in the air with the manager yet to confirm if Leon Balogun, Borna Barisic, Ryan Jack or Kemar Roofe have been invited to extend their stays at the club. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

AN ONLINE petition that calls for General Election ballot forms to be changed so voters can declare they dislike all candidates is gaining fast momentum - on the back of increasing disenchantment with the political establishment. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

The Footsie closed the week at 7,896 down 1.2 per cent on Iran news and fading rate cut hopes. FTSE 100 biggest risers Mondi 6.63% Paper group pulls bid for rival DS Smith International Airlines 4.21% Airlines still in post-lockdown travel boom Imperial Brands 3.44% Solid trading lifts tobacco giant Croda International 2.48% Chemical firm bounces back after fall Severn Trent 2.42% Broker upgrades water firm's outlook FTSE 100 biggest fallers DS Smith -13.00% Bid war hopes fade as Mondi walks away Rentokil Initial -6.69% Weaker US growth hits pest controller Pershing Square -6.61% Market volatility weighs on hedge funds Scottish Mortgage Trust -5.95% Mid East tensions knock investment firm Intermediate Capital -5.84% Asset manager down on market turmoil AIM 100 biggest risers Volex 13.60% Engineer expects to beat market forecast Redcentric 10.85% Demand for IT services soar LBG Media 10.24% Digital publisher posts strong results AIM 100 biggest fallers Learning Technologies -10.05% Talent manager's results disappoint Pantheon Resources -9.82% Investors muted on oilfield update Seeing Machines -9.79% Driver monitoring firm continues slide [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

I PROMISE you read it here first! I refer to a recent news story which advised the world that writing down your feelings of anger or frustration can significantly ease those negative emotions ? as long as you destroy the paper afterwards. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

I PROMISE you read it here first! I refer to a recent news story which advised the world that writing down your feelings of anger or frustration can significantly ease those negative emotions — as long as you destroy the paper afterwards. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

THE best piece of news in this paper yesterday was the forecast that the country will see temperatures of up to maybe 18C this weekend. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

A BRILLIANT bit of research last week looked at the best way to manage anger. The study found that going for a run, taking deep breaths and screaming into a pillow all helped. But the most effective was writing down what made you angry on a piece of paper, and then throwing it away! The method is so effective it eliminated feelings of anger 'almost entirely', scientists found. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

THE lack of resistance by the DS Smith board and investors to the £5.8bn takeover by the US's International Paper is to be regretted. Too often the UK allows home grown innovators, with an original business model, to escape overseas. To the credit of International Paper it has recognised the sensitivities by pledging a secondary quote in the UK and using DS Smith HQ as its European base. I suppose we should be thankful for small mercies. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

The Regime Monday, Sky Atlantic Hannah Waddingham's Eurovision 1974 Celebration Sunday, BBC4 The Regime has everything going for it on paper. Everything. It is written by Will Tracy (The Menu, and he was in the writers' room for Succession). It is co-directed by Stephen Frears (A Very English Scandal, Philomena, Quiz, etc). It stars Kate Winslet (too much great stuff to list, everything since the ship thing). It could only have more going for it if, say, Hugh Grant popped up, and he does. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

IAN Hislop, recalling his feud with then Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan, asked a photographer from the paper why he turned up every day at his country mansion. He replied: 'I want a picture of you looking really happy so we can put it in the paper with some disaster that's happened, so it looks like you're immensely callous.' At least Hislop was amused when his vicar told him he'd had Morgan's paper on the phone asking if the Private Eye editor had confessed anything juicy adding: 'I had to point out it's Church of England - we do a general confession - we don't do individual confession.' [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

IAN Hislop, recalling his feud with then Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan, asked a photographer from the paper why he turned up every day at his country mansion. He replied: 'I want a picture of you looking really happy so we can put it in the paper with some disaster that's happened, so it looks like you're immensely callous.' At least Hislop was amused when his vicar told him he'd had Morgan's paper on the phone asking if the Private Eye editor had confessed anything juicy adding: 'I had to point out it's Church of England - we do a general confession - we don't do individual confession.' [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

HF Hillfanming Limited, having its registered office at Grange, Co. Sligo and having its principal place of business at Mount Temple, Grange, Co. Sligo having ceased to trade and Just-Jenny-Chem Limiled, having its registered office at 43 Hillside, Bellingsfield, Kilcullen Road, Naas, Kildare, W91 Y9X6 and having its principal place of business at 43 Hillside, Bellingsfield, Kilcullen Road, Naas, Kildare, W91 Y9X6 never having traded and The Main Street Paper Shop Limiled, having its ' sred office at Musgrave House, urreen, Airport Road, Cork and 3 its principal place of business at Musgrave House, Ballycunreen, Airport Road, Cork having ceased to trade and 216 SCR Effect Limited, having its registered office at 68 Baggot Street Lower, Dublin 2 and having its principal place of business at 68 Baggot Street Lower, Dublin 2 having ceased to trade and Amberwell Vision Limited, having its registered office at 68 Baggot Street Lower, Dublin 2 and having its principal place of business at 68 Baggot Street Lower, Dublin 2 having ceased to trade and Acusdv Limited, having its registered office at JPA Brenson Lawlor, Suite 218/219, The Capel Building, Mary's Abbey, Dublin 7, D07 CR23, Ireland and having its principal place of business at JPA Brenson Lawlor, Suite 218/219, The Capel Building, Mary's Abbey, Dublin 7, D07 CR23, Ireland never having traded and each of which has no assets exceeding €150 and having no liabilities exceeding €150, have each resolved to notify the Registrar of Companies that the company is not carrying on business and to request the Registrar on that basis to exercise his/her powers pursuant to section 733 of the Companies Act 2014 to strike the name of the company off the register. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

A SECRET Department of Justice briefing paper warned that the State urgently needed to resume deportations, because most international asylum applicants were economic migrants. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

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JUSTICE Minister Helen McEntee received a secret briefing paper on immigration that recommended the urgent resumption of deportations of those who arrive here purely for economic, rather than asylum, reasons. The paper notes that between 2015 and 2020, an average of 1,341 deportation orders were issued each year. In 2021, that number fell to 155. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

from page 45 in Sofia. It, too, was owned by an anonymous offshore firm, this time in Cyprus, called Caviarteria Technologies. Just months earlier, I'd recovered evidence in the papers discarded at Lynn's headquarters in Cabanas, the Algarve, of millions being transferred to a 'Caviarteria Tec'. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

L'EQUIPE didn't think much of Ireland's dogged defensive effort on Friday night. One of its headlines suggested it was an ennui (boredom) of an occasion in Metz while the French sports paper's notoriously harsh ratings saw both Katie McCabe and Denise O'Sullivan receive a 3, below the 3.9 average for the Irish players - Courtney Brosnan unsurprisingly scored highest with six. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

A FEATURE in yesterday's paper about Rowan Lascelles included a photograph of George Lascelles, Princess Mary, King George V and his mother Queen Alexandra - not his wife Queen Mary, as we reported. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

A FEATURE in yesterday's paper about Rowan Lascelles included a photograph of George Lascelles, Princess Mary, King George V and his mother Queen Alexandra - not his wife Queen Mary, as we reported. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

A FEATURE in yesterday's paper about Rowan Lascelles included a photograph of George Lascelles, Princess Mary, King George V and his mother Queen Alexandra - not his wife Queen Mary, as we reported. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

IN THE MATTER OFTHE COMFANIES ACT 2014 In the matter of ROCKSOLVERS LIMFTED SHAREWATCH LIMITED SMA CONSTRUCTION LIMITED SPOCTA LIMITED NOTICE is hereby given pursuant to Section 680 & 706 of the Companies Act, 2014 that the Final Meeting of creditors of the above named Companies will be held on the 30th Day of April 2024 at 46, St Mary's Road, Midleton, Co. Cork. Creditors meetings shall start 10 minutes after the members meetings. Members meetings as follows: Rocksolvers Ltd. At 9.00am, Sharewatch Ltd. At 9.20am, SMA Construction Ltd. At 9.40am, Spocla Ltd. At 10.00am for the purposes mentioned in the said Section and also to determine pursuant to section 707 of the Companies Act 2014 the manner in which the books, accounts and papers of the company and of the Liquidator shall be disposed of. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

396g firm tofu 50g panko breadcrumbs 40g flour 2 eggs, beaten Spray vegetable oil 60g teriyaki sauce 250g brown rice 50g tenderstem broccoli To serve: Sesame seeds 1 Drain the tofu and pat with kitchen paper to remove excess moisture. Wrap in a clean tea towel, put a heavy pan on top and leave to dry out until needed. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

IT'S the cigarette paper of choice for thrifty smokers, so plans by Rizla to bring out a luxury perfume will no doubt cause splutters of surprise. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

IT'S the cigarette paper of choice for thrifty smokers, so plans by Rizla to bring out a luxury perfume will no doubt cause splutters of surprise. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

Across 1 A violin manufactured by a famous Italian family of stringed instrument makers (12) 8 Deputises for (4,2) 11 American animator and director who created Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny (3,5) 12 --- Rose, name sometimes given to the fairy tale character Sleeping Beauty (5) 13 A principal water pipe, conduit or duct (4) 14 The back of a sheet of printed paper (5) 15 The 28th President of the United States, in office 1913-21 (7,6) 17 American puppeteer best remembered for creating The Muppets (3,6) 19 A small bird with a brown or grey plumage, feeding on seeds or insects (7) 23 Material made of a network of wire or thread (4) 24 Failure to meet a goal or a requirement (9) 25 Family ---, 1980s American sitcom starring Michael J. Fox (4) 26 The structural rules of a language (7) 28 --- --- day, a memorably important or happy occasion (3-6) 31 Muhammad Ali's opponent in 1974's Rumble in the Jungle (6,7) [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

NAOMI Campbell has cut ties with A-list pal Sean 'P Diddy' Combs amid his fight against sex trafficking allegations. Naomi, left, organised a lavish birthday party in London for the rapper last November. Now sources say she feels used as Combs did not warn her a scandal was brewing. Naomi, 53, was previously named in court papers as one of the celebs who flew on paedophile Jeffrey Epstein's private jet. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

Across 1 A violin manufactured by a famous Italian family of stringed instrument makers (12) 8 Deputises for (4,2) 11 American animator and director who created Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny (3,5) 12 --- Rose, name sometimes given to the fairy tale character Sleeping Beauty (5) 13 A principal water pipe, conduit or duct (4) 14 The back of a sheet of printed paper (5) 15 The 28th President of the United States, in office 1913-21 (7,6) 17 American puppeteer best remembered for creating The Muppets (3,6) 19 A small bird with a brown or grey plumage, feeding on seeds or insects (7) 23 Material made of a network of wire or thread (4) 24 Failure to meet a goal or a requirement (9) 25 Family ---, 1980s American sitcom starring Michael J. Fox (4) 26 The structural rules of a language (7) 28 --- --- day, a memorably important or happy occasion (3-6) 31 Muhammad Ali's opponent in 1974's Rumble in the Jungle (6,7) [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

THE US paper giant bidding for one of Britain's biggest packaging companies is looking at listing shares in London should the deal go through. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

FITTINGLY, both bids for British packaging giant DS Smith are paper offerings. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

THE US paper giant bidding for one of Britain's biggest packaging companies is looking at listing shares in London should the deal go through. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

FITTINGLY, both bids for British packaging giant DS Smith are paper offerings. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

ECO-FRIENDLY marketing claims made by toilet paper manufacturers could be misleading shoppers, a watchdog has claimed. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

1a. Savagely tears into paper man (9) [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

225g unsalted butter, softened to room temperature 220g light brown sugar 2 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp golden syrup 100g granulated sugar large egg 1 large egg yolk 280g plain flour 1 tsp salt 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda 170g dark chocolate, chopped 70g pecans, roughly chopped Flakey sea salt, to sprinkle on top 1 Line two baking trays with parchment paper and set aside. 2 To brown the butter, add half the butter to a medium saucepan over a low heat. Swirl the butter in the pan occasionally. It will foam, and start to crackle and pop. Once it turns a hazelnut brown and you notice a nutty scent, it's ready. Immediately pour the butter into a small bowl, bits and all, and allow it to cool to room temperature. 3Beat the remaining butter with the brown sugar for 3-5 minutes until the mixture is smooth. Beat in the vanilla extract and golden syrup. Add the cooled brown butter into the bowl, along with the granulated sugar. Beat for two minutes, until light and fluffy. Add the egg and egg yolk and beat again. 4Add the flour, salt, and bicarbonate of soda, beating on low speed just until everything is incorporated. Use a spatula to fold in the chocolate and pecans and finish incorporating all of the dry ingredients into the dough. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

THE letter, typed on blue notepaper, was heartbreaking in its own way. It revealed that our newsagents is to close from next month. They have delivered our papers for the best part of 20 years, though it was on our ritual Saturday morning visit to the place that my grandson and I spotted Panini stickers and decided to collect. The thud of the papers on the mat provides a thrill of anticipation which has never receded over time. Thanks for so much, Marian and Linda, of Woods Paper Shop, Handforth, Cheshire. The morning ritual will never be quite the same. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

THE letter, typed on blue notepaper, was heartbreaking in its own way. It revealed that our newsagents is to close from next month. They have delivered our papers for the best part of 20 years, though it was on our ritual Saturday morning visit to the place that my grandson and I spotted Panini stickers and decided to collect. The thud of the papers on the mat provides a thrill of anticipation which has never receded over time. Thanks for so much, Marian and Linda, of Woods Paper Shop, Handforth, Cheshire. The morning ritual will never be quite the same. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

A LOCAL Wicklow paper has uncovered a hidden talent of the taoiseach-in-waiting, after discovering a play written by a 13-yearold Simon Harris. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

3 tbsp olive oil 65g pancetta lardons 1 large onion, diced ½ tsp salt 1 medium celeriac, peeled and chopped 1 parsnip, peeled and chopped 1 apple, cored and chopped 2L vegetable stock 200ml cream ¼ tsp black pepper 1 sprig of fresh parsley, optional 1 sprig of fresh sage, optional 1 Heat half a tablespoon of oil in a large pan or pot over medium heat, add the lardons and cook for 5-8 minutes, until crispy and browned, stirring occasionally. Remove from the pan with a slotted spoon and set aside on kitchen paper. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

MICHAEL Jackson's son, Blanket (or Bigi), left, has filed legal papers jeopardising his grandmother's battle to stop executors selling off the King of Pop's catalogue. The Jacksons' intergenerational feuding continues, but at least this spat is fuelled by a family member who, dangled over a hotel balcony as a baby, surely has a stronger claim on the estate than most. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

IT has been pens and paper this week for Brian Graham, the Partick Thistle women's manager, rather than boots and balls. Not one to be lost for words, the Firhill striker is keen to hit just the right tone as he sends his side into an historic Sky Sports Cup final at Tynecastle. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

EMMA HAYES is standing to replace Howard Wilkinson as chair of the League Managers Association in what would be an historic move for the organisation. The Chelsea manager faces competition from fellow trailblazer and former England coach Hope Powell, along with ex-Premier League mangers Martin O'Neill and Alan Pardew. Port Vale manager Darren Moore and newly-appointed Birmingham interim boss Gary Rowett are also on the ballot paper that has been sent to all 680 LMA members, as are former EFL managers Graham Westley and Chris Turner. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

MUCH faux excitement at The Guardian as they name and clearly try to shame members of the Garrick Club. No mention of club members Guardian writer Michael White or the paper's late political pundit Ian Aitken. And what about former editor Alan Rusbridger, who handed back his salmon and cucumber tie when his nominee for membership, the late Lord Myners, was blackballed? [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

MUCH faux excitement at The Guardian as they name and clearly try to shame members of the Garrick Club. No mention of club members Guardian writer Michael White or the paper's late political pundit Ian Aitken. And what about former editor Alan Rusbridger, who handed back his salmon and cucumber tie when his nominee for membership, the late Lord Myners, was blackballed? [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

Scrap Calla Henkel Sceptre £16.99 Dumped by her girlfriend, truecrime fan Esther, an artist and crafter, is unable to afford the mortgage on their house and accepts a job making scrapbooks for a wealthy woman from an extensive archive of family documents. When the woman dies, Esther becomes convinced her papers hold sinister clues about her death. This is an entertaining romp with a bracingly imperfect heroine, sharp observations about wealth and art and a plot that corkscrews off in surprising directions. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]