My Most Intense Years: An Autoethnographic Analysis of Language Teacher Identities and Emotions of One Dissertating (Adjunct) Language Instructor

Revisiting his dissertation journal, the author undertook an autoethnographic study of that period in his life. As a full-time student within a U.S. research university, he had funded his studies by teaching international teaching assistants and undergraduates learning French and Arabic. In this study, he used inductive analysis to explore his language teacher identity (De Costa & Norton, 2017) and language teacher emotion (Han et al., 2023). Three identities and two emotions emerged: a challenged time manager (1) and an aspiring professional instructor (2), and the related emotions of pride in observing his former students and efficacy in bridging his teaching undergraduates and grad students. Nonetheless, managing these roles sensitized him to (adjunct) coworkers' cynicism. He started to become a cynic (3), bringing emotion labor (Benesch & Prior, 2023). Findings confirmed language teacher emotion as relational and conjoined to language teacher identity. This study urges the field of Applied Linguistics to rectify its past omissions by acknowledging today's "invisible practitioners": adjuncted language instructors.