'You Wanna Talk Afterwards?' Ontoepistemological Implications of the Researcher Self in Fictional Research Narratives

This paper demonstrates how fictional narratives can address ethical and epistemic problems in the creation and conduct of qualitative research. A story about international students with parental responsibilities in the UK is presented. Through this 'performance,' fictional narratives can address issues linked to ethical and epistemic desires. This article contributes to the extant literature on fictional research writing by presenting and interrogating a piece written in response to ethical and epistemic dilemmas in the field. I present the lack of opportunity to meet for a group study to demonstrate how participants can convene in the 'virtual real.' Instead of passively accepting the unfortunate limitations on our interactions and interpretations, I allowed a fictional version of a utopian meeting to 'occur' among us. At the same time, the account itself performs a reflexive dystopian unravelling as I reveal some tacit frameworks and processes that led to its writing. Finally, I discuss the repercussions of desire on the material presentation of research as part of an initiative to address impossibilities in the conduct of research.