The Lived Experience of Meltdowns for Autistic Adults

Autistic meltdowns have been explored from the perspectives of parents, but there is a paucity of research on the experience of meltdowns from the autistic perspective. Little is known about how adults experience these events. In this descriptive phenomenological study, we conducted online interviews with 32 autistic adults on the experience of having a meltdown. Data were analyzed using Colaizzi's seven-step method. Six themes emerged from data that captured the essence of meltdowns, including "feeling overwhelmed" by informational, sensory, social, or emotional stressors; "experiencing extreme emotions," such as anger, sadness, and fear; "losing logic," including challenges with thinking and memory; "grasping for self-control," in which participants felt out of touch with themselves; "finding a release" for emotions, often described as an "explosion" of external behaviors or self-harm; and "minimizing social, emotional, or physical harm" by avoiding triggers or self-isolating when possible. Findings highlight the painful and distressing internalized experience of meltdowns beyond behavioral characteristics. Participants shared examples of internal meltdowns, in which external characteristics of meltdowns were camouflaged. Participants also suggested that meltdowns may serve a functional role in regulating emotions and making one's voice heard. Meltdowns are diverse experiences that hold different meaning to different people.