Sick at School: Teachers' Memories and the Affective Challenges That Bodies Present to Constructions of Childhood Innocence, Normalcy, and Ignorance

Longstanding impressions of children as innocent to human frailty, alongside the emphasis on efficiency and management in schools, play undeniable roles in the way teachers engage with children experiencing death and illness. This paper draws from a larger study of 116 written childhood memories from prospective teachers and practitioners enrolled across four universities in Canada and the United States and focuses on the 12 memories that specifically reference childhood experiences with death or illness. Bearing witness to death evoked a range of participant responses, including guilt and shame, a sense of childhood immaturity, or the need to "grow up" in the face of mortality. In contrast, memories of illness almost always occurred in school, featuring a neglectful teacher or adult figure with anxiety about disrupting normalcy and order. Drawing on affect studies and psychoanalysis, our examination surfaces three repeating motifs: (1) the management of the bodily 'normal' in school, (2) the appeal to childhood innocence as a refusal of affective experience, and (3) the abjection of illness as an opening to thinking about vulnerability in education. Although these memories account for a small portion of the overall collection, they linger in our minds as significant, made even more so by the current context of COVID-19. For educators, the challenge may be how to engage with children as they attempt to make sense of the turmoil they are living, all of which may require teachers to support a wide range of childhood experiences unburdened by the ideal of innocence. A study of these tropes demonstrate the affective challenges that bodies pose to education, and open critical ways to think about the relationship between illness, childhood, and education as the ethical ground to reimagine post-pandemic schooling.