Optimizing assurance: the risk regulation system in relationships

A model of risk regulation is proposed to explain how people balance the goal of seeking closeness to a romantic partner against the opposing goal of minimizing the likelihood and pain of rejection. The central premise is that confidence in a partner's positive regard and caring allows people to risk seeking dependence and connectedness. The risk regulation system consists of 3 interconnected 'if-then' contingency rules, 1 cognitive, 1 affective, and 1 behavioral. The authors describe how general perceptions of a partner's regard structure the sensitivity of these 3 'if-then' rules in risky relationship situations. The authors then describe the consequences of such situated 'if-then' rules for relationship well-being and conclude by integrating other theoretical perspectives and outlining future research directions. Keywords: relationships, rejection, perceived regard, risk, belongingness