The phenomenology of children's influence on parents

Starting from the core systemic premise that humans influence each other, this paper focuses on child influences in the bidirectional parent–child relationship. Following a co-constructionist approach on bidirectionality, meaning constructions of children and their parents concerning child influences are explored. The authors used in-depth interviews separately with children and their parents. Phenomenological analysis shows similarities and differences in children's and parents' thinking. Both stress the difficulty and existential dimension of the subject and refer to this influence as mainly unintentional. In particular, children disentangle influence from power. Children focus on the responsiveness of their parents. Parents emphasize the overwhelming effects on their personal development. The importance of making room for constructive child influences in family therapy is acknowledged.