Taking Sides in Couples Therapy.

This article discusses the importance of not always remaining neutral in couples therapy, especially when one partner is clearly in the wrong. The author argues that therapists should not suppress their natural impulses to point out ethical imbalances in the relationship, as these imbalances are often at the heart of couples' problems. The author shares a case study of a couple where one partner had engaged in harmful behavior, and the therapist used guilt as a therapeutic tool to help the wrongdoer understand the harm they caused and make amends. The article emphasizes the power of guilt in redistributing the suffering caused by hurtful actions and making the aggrieved party more receptive to apologies and making amends. The therapist also highlights the importance of being partial to whichever member of the couple shows kindness and goodwill, as this can help rebuild trust. The article acknowledges the delicate balance that therapists must strike in not pushing the wrongdoer too hard into guilt or blaming the victim too much, and the ongoing nature of couples therapy as a process of hope and hurt. [Extracted from the article]