Desire after hope: To reorient myself for true life during the COVID-19.

In this article, the author tries to reorient herself for true life by employing what Means calls 'authentic creativity'. The author argues that writing is a way to reorient oneself. Writing is a dialogue and free space and time where hopes and desires to live true self are generated. By imagining how Mark Fisher might have been feeling living in 'Capitalist Realism', the author discusses that the world has been transformed into capitalist super-realism amid the COVID-19 pandemic, and she has become super-human capital self. Engaged in Freire's 'problem-posing education' and Biesta's 'risky business' in a time and space created by her advisor, the author reflected on how she became super-human capital self and how to rescue rebellious self from the abyss of capitalist super-realism. In so doing, the author came up with a formula O = CI to help visualize a mechanism of why human capital is valued and why growing human capital through education is fervently supported. Built on the formula, the author developed an equation of O = I (C n), with the exponential n being resilience capacities, to argue that superhuman capital has been expected to develop an ironman-like resilience and their productivity has been evaluated as such. In so doing, the author a attempts to demonstrate the transformative power of art to reorient not only herself but also transform what Hardt and Negri 'Empire' into something new from within, with hopes and desires of the multitude of singularities who engage in risky business in commons. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]