Bridging the Gap: Natural Parents and Adoptive Families.

This article deals with experiences of the Los Angeles District Office of the Department of Adoptions with the inclusion of a natural mother in an applicant group meeting and the participation of some natural parents in the selection of adoptive families for their children. Natural mothers who have participated in selection have remarked that it has made relinquishment easier. As one 26-year-old mother pointed out that it is good to be able to help. Despite many assurances from the worker, she had feared that her healthy Caucasian infant might not be placed. She was greatly relieved when she was able to choose from among three excellent families. It was difficult to make the choice, but she felt that it was a welcome responsibility. Although some of the natural mothers prefer to leave the selection of an adoptive family up to the agency, which they think of as omniscient and omnipotent, other mothers benefit from assuming this responsibility. They also gain comfort from the knowledge that the baby will in all likelihood be placed quickly in the home of their choice. Independent adoptions have long held appeal for the mother who seeks the comfort of knowing that her baby will be given to a family rather than to an agency because the latter can be viewed as cold and impersonal. By participating in selection, the mother is offered the protection and expertise of an agency, with much of the attraction of an independent adoption.