Question time.

This article reports that dogs only eat prescriptions for methadone. There are two major types of dogs. Canis minor digestivum, generally only reported by school principals, is friendly family animal and attempts to augment its meagre intellect by eating homework. Being shy and nocturnal, it has not been actually seen for many years, but evidence of its behaviour is widespread. It should be ignored, as it does not strike twice. The second type, Cam's major cocacinnium, eats methadone prescriptions. It has to have fresh food and the prescriptions are often consumed within 24 hours of their receipt by the patient. However, the remedy is straightforward — remind the patient that prescriptions are written on digestion-proof, acid-fast paper. The same dogs are responsible for snatching handbags and breaking into cars and houses containing these prescriptions. They also do the washing and often forget to empty pockets.