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This article, titled "The Enlightenment Philosophers' Seven-A-Side Football Team," is a fictional poem that imagines a football team made up of Enlightenment philosophers. The team captain, Berkeley, assembles a squad that includes Descartes as the goalkeeper, Spinoza and Leibniz as full-backs, Locke and Hume as wing-forwards, and Kant as the front player. The poem humorously depicts the philosophers' different beliefs and how they navigate the game. Ultimately, Kant scores the winning goal, and the team celebrates with Berkeley's tar water drink. The poem is part of a book called "Eh-Up! Rhyme and Reason: An Alternative Guide to the History of Western Philosophy" by Sarah Rochelle. [Extracted from the article]

But Hume was now frail and replied that the fact Of his debt to George Berkeley was no cause to act: "A statement of is cannot lead on to ought, And the journey to England would kill me, it's thought." In seventeen hundred and seventy three - The flow'ring of Britain's Philosophy - George Berkeley'd been dead for nigh on twenty year And his friends thought a jolly would give them some cheer. So Bentham was left to toast Berkeley alone And to ponder upon some ideas of his own; He'd done right to plan and to write to his friends - Utility lies in the good of our ends. [Extracted from the article]

The poem "A Day by the Stream with Heraclitus" by Sarah Rochelle is presented. First Line: Five hundred years before A.D. Last Line: Each meal is eaten only once."