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From the author of the bestselling Snark series comes the premiere guide to satire, sneering, jeering, and mockery in their finest forms. A surviving knight of many a verbal joust, Larry Dorfman has become an expert at backhanded sass and cathartic banter.Featuring life lessons from the master himself, as well as quotes and quips by some of history's sarcastic greats, The Sarcasm Handbook teaches readers how to deflect stupidity and express their inner dissatisfaction with a keen sensibility, hushing subtlety, and wisecrack wit. Included in these invaluable teachings are chapters on achieving the right tone, sarcastic bastards in history, as well as scenarios depicting some of the greatest moments in sarcasm.So pick up your copy today and start learning the art of disparagement through passive aggressiveness!

The bestselling book on the art of the insult is back and it's more blasphemous than ever. Author and snark connoisseur Lawrence Dorfman does his absolute worst, dishing out hundreds of clever insults for all situations and occasions. From careful instructions on how and when to throw a verbal punch to an expertly curated collection of the best insults in history, this uproarious little book has everything you need to become the ultimate slanderer. Every page is packed with delightfully mean one-liners for swiftly scorning your foes: “You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.”“You started at the bottom, and it's been downhill ever since.”“His men would follow him anywhere but it was only out of morbid curiosity.” “Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.”“You fill a much-needed gap.”Complete with charming black and white drawings that complement the book's verbal spars, The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, and will ensure you're never again without the perfect quip or comeback.

The Snark Handbook is back and it's more uproarious than ever. This revised and expanded edition contains even more snide remarks, witty comebacks, and biting commentary than the bestselling first edition. With dozens of hilarious jokes, plus lists such as “Snarky Movie Descriptions,” “Money Can't Buy You Happiness, But it Can Buy…”, and “Excuses to Get Out of a Date,” it's easy to find the perfect bit of irreverence to fit every mood and occasion. The Snark Handbook also features hundreds of the best quotes from beloved heroes of snark:“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”-Dorothy Parker“I never forget a face, but in your case, I'm happy to make an exception”-Groucho Marx“There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best part.”-Charles Dickens“I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do.”-Phyllis DillerWith charming black and white illustrations to accompany the wry remarks on every page, The Snark Handbook is as fun to look at as it is to read. It's a must-have whether you want to brush up on your snark, need a good laugh after a bad day, or are looking for the perfect gift for your favorite smartass.

The lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With this treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that's sure to change your life—or at least induce a light chuckle.One question plagues us all: How do we survive all the Sturm und Drang of everyday life? The answer is but one word: snark.“She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on by a pitchfork.” —Jonathan Swift“Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.” —P. G. Wodehouse“He's a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.” —Tom Waits“They hardly make'em like him anymore—but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.” —Hunter S. Thompson“He has a Teflon brain... nothing sticks” —Lily Tomlin“He has no more backbone than a chocolate éclair.” —Theodore RooseveltSnark will keep the wolves at bay (or at least out on the porch). Snark, much like a double scotch, will help you deal with relatives, shopping, and rudeness; it is an outlet for the unleashed vitriolic bile that's saved itself up over the months. Like a shield, it will protect you while you go about your life. Snark is your answer!

Scha•den•freu•de: noun, often capitalized \'shä-d?n-?fro?i-d?\ Schadenfreude i/'???d?nfr??d?/ (German: ['?a?d?n?f???d?]): pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”We've all heard the phrase. It was made most famous in the Godfather movies. And some do credit this saying to the Mafia, dating back to the old country of Sicily. Others say it had its origins in Spain. Still others claim it for the Pashtuns, as a precursor to the Afghan way of life. And there are many who say its direct history stems from Kahless the Unforgettable, banished leader of the Klingons.Typically, the Germans beat the rest of the world hands down when it comes to conjuring a specific word that sums it up. And that word is Schadenfreude.Those of us that are human (most of the book-buying public), whether we will admit it or not, have at some point or another gained malicious delight from the misfortune of others. Most often tied to a vaguely biblical outlook, it is a perfect summing up of a perfectly human trait. Nobody wants to admit it, but we all do it... and, often times, gleefully.

What do Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, H. L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, Robert Benchley, George Bernard Shaw, Jules Feiffer, Bill Hicks, Bill Maher, Phyllis Diller, Édith Piaf, W. C. Fields, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Charles Bukowski, and countless others have in common? Not a thing, other than each was a brilliantly snarky wit and all are included in this compendium of the original snark handbooks.Hear wit, sarcasm, and offhanded comments from:The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal SparringThe Snark Handbook: Insult EditionThe Snark Handbook: Sex EditionSnark! The Herald Angels SingThe Snark Handbook: Politics and Government EditionThe Snark Handbook: Clichés EditionThe Snark Handbook: Parenting EditionIsn't that enough!?!?A minor literary success (beloved by both minors and miners), the snark handbooks have cemented their position in the literary world, high atop toilet seats everywhere. Now in one great big edition, this lofty tome promises to fulfill the need to chuckle, guffaw, titter, groan, and belly laugh as readers dip in and out of the great minds in literature, comedy, movies, music, and more. Proceed with caution.

Another political year is upon us... a year in which we elect another useless figurehead to piss off the masses, confuse the classes, and, above all, reward the jackasses. It will be a time of fear, angst, and anger, the perfect moment for The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition. Filled with quotes, jokes, and timeless snarks, this brave foray into the political theater, old and new, will serve as a priceless source of sanity as you navigate the asylum. In the same inimitable style as the previous bestselling Snark titles, this timely entry is guaranteed to amuse and entertain. The wit and humor of Lawrence Dorfman shines in this collection, where he highlights the ineptitude and malice that is American democracy. You'll see first-hand the shenanigans that started with our Founding Fathers and still continue bravely on today. Hail to the Chief!

Bah! Humbug! It's that time of year again….Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile falsely, dig down deep to try and find “good cheer,” battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as…dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year's; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess. Enjoy such rotten sugar plums as: • “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”—Victor Borge • “If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it...No awkward explanations of virgin birth...No Irving Berlin songs.”—Among the Top Ten Reasons to Love Hanukkah • “What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”—Phyllis DillerSnark, the Herald Angels Sing is destined to be a holiday classic.

According to NewYorker.com, “Lawrence Dorfman assembled a heroic collection. I spent an hour in a state of catharsis, reveling in the sufficiency of the insults,” in his previous homage to snarkdom (Insult Edition). Now just imagine the reviewer's state after an hour reading the Sex Edition. Here are sharply witty personal observations, jokes, quotations, he-said-she-said snarks, and much more. A taste of what's to come: • “I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.”—George Carlin • “We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”—Lily Tomlin • “Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”—Oscar Wilde • A couple was lying in bed one evening, when the woman felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. His fingers started at her neck, moved down her shoulders, past the side of her breast and so forth. Then he suddenly stopped, rolled over, and became silent. She said, “Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?” “I found the remote,” he mumbled. With the same Snark Handbook style, this latest entry in the series will titillate, amuse, and entertain.

The bestselling book on the art of the insult is back and it's more blasphemous than ever. Author and snark connoisseur Lawrence Dorfman does his absolute worst, dishing out hundreds of clever insults for all situations and occasions. From careful instructions on how and when to throw a verbal punch to an expertly curated collection of the best insults in history, this uproarious little book has everything you need to become the ultimate slanderer. Every page is packed with delightfully mean one-liners for swiftly scorning your foes: “You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.”“You started at the bottom, and it's been downhill ever since.”“His men would follow him anywhere but it was only out of morbid curiosity.” “Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.”“You fill a much-needed gap.”Complete with charming black and white drawings that complement the book's verbal spars, The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, and will ensure you're never again without the perfect quip or comeback.

CLICHÉ: nounEtymology: French, literally, printer's stereotype, from past participle of clichér, to stereotype, of imitative originDate: 18921 : a trite phrase or expression; also : the idea expressed by it2 : a hackneyed theme, characterization, or situation3 : something that has become overly familiar or commonplace In the words of Stephen Fry, “It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, that cliché is untrue.” Clichés are like rationalizations: try going a week without using one. It can't be done! They are the hobgoblin of little minds. For most of us, once you begin to take notice, they are fingernails on a chalkboard.From Shakespeare to Shakira; in music, on television, at the movies; in the boardroom, on a conference call, online or in person, clichés have taken over the world. While some nitwits might say they're just misunderstood, they didn't start out that way. There was a time when they were new and vibrant, clever and pithy. Now they're just predictable—a vapid collection of much-too-familiar descriptions or metaphors that often replace smart conversation, speech, or writing.This book is a collection of the most overused phrases of all time. Hopefully, it'll make you laugh. Hopefully, it'll make them think. And at the end of the day, if the early bird catches the worm and the slow and steady win the race... Please... kill... me... now.