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A raw, often wry, memoir of mothers, mysteries, and miracles. Surrendered at birth in a closed adoption, Candi Byrne's biology and ethnicity is a secret. The impending arrival of her first grandchild ignites an urgency to identify potential genetic time bombs and confirm her ancestry. Due to arcane privacy laws, Candi is repeatedly denied access to the one person who could provide that information—her biological mother. After years of failed attempts, she resigns herself to never learning the truth about her roots; that is, until her ninety-year-old Aunt Delores has a vision and insists Candi resume efforts to find her birth family. Candi is gobsmacked when an internet search she's performed thousands of times before suddenly reveals her birth mother's identity. Within hours, she ends up on the doorstep of her birth mother—a place she's sworn never to visit. After a series of guilt-driven interactions with “Those People,” as she refers to her maternal birth family, Candi terminates contact. Although the reunion proves disastrous, it opens her eyes to truths about her relationship with her adoptive mother, Delphine. Though their relationship was difficult and contentious during Delphine's life, a series of miraculous experiences after her death guides Candi home to herself—where, she learns, she has belonged all along.

For decades, Katie D'Angelo and Valerie Harrison engaged in conversations about race and racism. However, when Katie and her husband, who are white, adopted Gabriel, a biracial child, Katie's conversations with Val, who is black, were no longer theoretical and academic. The stakes grew from the two friends trying to understand each other's perspectives to a mother navigating, with input from her friend, how to equip a child with the tools that will best serve him as he grows up in a white family. Through lively and intimate back-and-forth exchanges, the authors share information, research, and resources that orient parents and other community members to the ways race and racism will affect a black child's life—and despite that, how to raise and nurture healthy and happy children. These friendly dialogues about guarding a child's confidence and nurturing positive racial identity form the basis for Do Right by Me. Harrison and D'Angelo share information on transracial adoption, understanding racism, developing a child's positive racial identity, racial disparities in healthcare and education, and the violence of racism. Do Right by Me also is a story about friendship and kindness, and how both can be effective in the fight for a more just and equitable society.

NEW YORK TIMES EDITORS'CHOICE • “A powerful, heartbreaking, necessary masterpiece.”—Cheryl Strayed, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Wild The moving story of what one woman learned from fostering a newborn—about injustice, about making mistakes, about how to better love and protect people beyond our immediate kin May you always feel at home. After their decision not to have a biological child, Sarah Sentilles and her husband, Eric, decide to adopt via the foster care system. Despite knowing that the system's goal is the child's reunification with the birth family, Sarah opens their home to a flurry of social workers who question them, evaluate them, and ultimately prepare them to welcome a child into their lives—even if it means most likely having to give the child back. After years of starts and stops, and endless navigation of the complexities and injustices of the foster care system, a phone call finally comes: a three-day-old baby girl named Coco, in immediate need of a foster family. Sarah and Eric bring this newborn stranger home. “You were never ours,” Sarah tells Coco, “yet we belong to each other.” A love letter to Coco and to the countless children like her, Stranger Care chronicles Sarah's discovery of what it means to mother—in this case, not just a vulnerable infant but the birth mother who loves her, too. Ultimately, Coco's story reminds us that we depend on family, and that family can take different forms. With prose that Nick Flynn has called “fearless, stirring, rhythmic,” Sentilles lays bare an intimate, powerful story with universal concerns: How can we care for and protect one another? How do we ensure a more hopeful future for life on this planet? And if we're all related—tree, bird, star, person—how might we better live?

A raw and heart-wrenching literary memoir about a queer couple's attempt to adopt a child. But would you take a ginger child? A social worker asks Patrick Flanery as he and his husband embark on their four-year odyssey of trying to adopt. This curious question comes to haunt the journey, which Flanery recounts with startling candour as he explores what it means to make a family as a queer couple, to be an outsider in a foreign country, to grapple with the inheritance of intergenerational loss, and to discover that the emotions we feel are sometimes as mysterious to ourselves as to others. Reviews For TheGinger Child:'It is shocking, and consoling, in its honesty.'- Emma Brockes'this is a book to be savoured'- Jackie Kay'A rare, brilliant and essential exploration of adoption'- John D'Agata This uniquely powerful book moves deftly between heartbreaking memoir and illuminating meditation on parenting, adoption and queerness in contemporary culture, stopping along the way to consider recent science fiction film, camp horror television, fiction and visual art. At the end, which could also be the beginning of a new journey, Flanery asks whether we might all imagine ourselves as ginger children-fragile, sensitive, more easily hurt than we think possible, but with the hope that we are also survivors, with greater powers of resilience than we know.

This book explores a deeply personal aspect of globalization: the adoption of Asian children by white Americans. It is based on dozens of interviews with adoptive mothers and adoption social workers, nearly two hundred letters and essays written by Korean birth mothers who put their children up for adoption, and field work at an adoption agency in South Korea. It also includes analyses and explanations of U.S. and South Korean governments'social characteristics and policies regarding adoptions and how relations between nations have affected international adoption. The book focuses on whether the commonly held notion that adoptions are to serve children's welfare and their best interests has tended to render gendered aspects of international adoptions invisible. Factors such as gender inequality, social control of women's reproductive power, patriarchic family structure, and social beliefs concerning womanhood and motherhood that affect international adoptions are revealed in this book. The multiple ways in which adoptive, birth, and foster mothers experience gender oppression from their different social positions of class, race, and nationality are explored and the interdependencies and inequalities of the motherhoods of these three groups of women are brought to light.

In this heartwarming and hilarious memoir, Claude Knobler describes how he learned the hard way that the apple actually can fall far from the tree—and that's Okay. Already the biological parents of a seven-year-old son and a five-year-old daughter, Claude Knobler and his wife decided to adopt Nati, a five-year-old Ethiopian boy who seemed different from Knobler in every conceivable way. After more than five years spent trying to turn his wild, silly, adopted African son into a quiet, neurotic, Jewish guy like himself, Knobler realized the importance of having the courage to love, accept, and let go of his children. In this wonderfully written memoir, Knobler explains how his experiences raising Nati led him to learn a lesson that applied equally well to parenting his biological children: It's essential to spend the time we are given with our children to love them and enjoy them, rather than push and mold them into who we think they should be.

A compelling, dramatic narrative of how an American housewife discovered that the Guatemalan child she was about to adopt had been stolen from her birth mother, shedding light on the alarming and growing problem of international adoption fraud.Over the past five years, over 100,000 children were adopted into the United States, 20,000 of whom came from Guatemala. Finding Fernanda, a dramatic true story paired with investigative reporting, tells the side-by-side tales of an American housewife who adopts a two-year-old girl from Guatemala and the birth mother whose two children were stolen from her. Each woman gradually comes to realize her role in what was one of Guatemala's most profitable black-market industries: the buying and selling of children for international adoption. Finding Fernanda is an overdue, unprecedented look at adoption corruption--and a poignant, riveting human story about the power of hope, faith, and determination.

Even before Nancy McCabe and her daughter, Sophie, left for China, it was clear that, as the mother of an adopted child from China, McCabe would be seeing the country as a tourist while her daughter, who was seeing the place for the first time in her memory, was “going home.” Part travelogue, part memoir, Crossing the Blue Willow Bridge immerses readers in an absorbing and intimate exploration of place and its influence on the meaning of family. A sequel to Meeting Sophie, which tells McCabe's story of adopting Sophie as a single woman, Crossing the Blue Willow Bridge picks up a decade later with a much different Sophie—a ten-year-old with braces who wears black nail polish, sneaks eyeliner, wears clothing decorated with skulls, and has mixed feelings about being one of the few non-white children in the little Pennsylvania town where they live. Since she was young, Sophie had felt a closeness to the country of her birth and held it in an idealized light. At ten, she began referring to herself as Asian instead of Asian-American. It was McCabe's hope that visiting China would “help her become comfortable with both sides of the hyphen, figure out how to be both Chinese and American, together.” As an adoptive parent of a foreign-born child, McCabe knows that homeland visits are an important rite of passage to help children make sense of the multiple strands of their heritage, create their own hybrid traditions, and find their particular place in the world. Yet McCabe, still reeling from her mother's recent death, wonders how she can give any part of Sophie back to her homeland. She hopes that Sophie will find affirmation and connection in China, even as she sees firsthand some of the realities of China—overpopulation, pollution, and an oppressive government—but also worries about what that will mean for their relationship. Throughout their journey on a tour for adopted children, mother and daughter experience China very differently. New tensions and challenges emerge, illuminating how closely intertwined place is with sense of self. As the pair learn to understand each other, they lay the groundwork for visiting Sophie's orphanage and birth village, life-changing experiences for them both.

This gripping memoir details an ordinary American woman's quest to adopt a baby girl from Guatemala in the face of overwhelming adversity. At only 32 years old, Jessica O'Dwyer experiences early menopause, seemingly ending her chances of becoming a mother. Years later, married but childless, she comes across a photo of a two-month-old girl on a Guatemalan adoption website, and feels an instant connection. From the get-go, Jessica and her husband face numerous and maddening obstacles. After a year of tireless efforts, Jessica finds herself abandoned by her adoption agency; undaunted, she quits her job and moves to Antigua so she can bring her little girl to live with her and wrap up the adoption, no matter what the cost. Eventually, after months of disappointments, she finesses her way through the thorny adoption process and is finally able to bring her new daughter home. Mamalita is as much a story about the bond between a mother and child as it is about the lengths adoptive parents go to in their quest to bring their children home. At turns harrowing, heartbreaking, and inspiring, this is a classic story of the triumph of a mother's love over almost insurmountable odds.

The world is full of hurt children, and bringing one into your home can quickly derail the easy family life you once knew. Get effective suggestions, wisdom, and advice to parent the hurt child in your life. The best hope for tragedy prevention is knowledge! Updated and revised.

Rita J. Simon and Rhonda M. Roorda's In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories shared the experiences of twenty-four black and biracial children who had been adopted into white families in the late 1960s and 70s. The book has since become a standard resource for families and practitioners, and now, in this sequel, we hear from the parents of these remarkable families and learn what it was like for them to raise children across racial and cultural lines.These candid interviews shed light on the issues these parents encountered, what part race played during thirty plus years of parenting, what they learned about themselves, and whether they would recommend transracial adoption to others. Combining trenchant historical and political data with absorbing firsthand accounts, Simon and Roorda once more bring an academic and human dimension to the literature on transracial adoption.

This comprehensive, accessible guide leads you with confidence through every decision you'll have to make during the adoption process -- including the ones that you'd never know to expect. So you've made the decision to adopt. What's next? For starters, how do you know whether domestic or international adoption is right for you? (And what are the real differences between the two?) Adoption insider Elizabeth Swire Falker answers these questions and many more. As an attorney who practices in the area of adoption and has worked with hundreds of families, and as an adoptive parent herself, she offers expert advice on each stage of the process. Complete with checklists, tips, sidebars, and plenty of advice, it shows you how to:Identify which adoption experts you do and don't needFind the right birth mother or choose the right country for your family-and how to spot red flags in potential situationsSelect an attorney or agency and prepare for your home visitFinance an adoption on a budget, manage the red tape, and get around the roadblocksNavigate all of the complex emotions that surface along the way With Elizabeth Swire Falker's warm yet been-there-done-that voice, The Insider's Guide to Adoption is sure to become a tried-and-true resource for adoptive parents everywhere.

Discusses the issues related to race, class, and gender involved in adoption based on in-depth interviews with 22 adoptive mothers. This text compares and contrasts the experiences of white women who adopted Asian, black, or biracial children. The bulk of the book is dedicated to presenting the women's words as they talk about their perceptions of fertility treatments, birth mothers, other mothers, adoption processes, and outsiders'reactions, among other matters. Feminist discourse is used to examine the applicability of these theories to women's self-characterizations.Beginning with an overview of the theoretical basis of the book, discussions of becoming an adoptive mother and the realities of being an adoptive mother follow. Each chapter presents feelings and experiences of adoptive mothers, in addition to analysis that brings these feelings into broader societal context. This honest portrayal will offer adoptive families, adoption professionals, and social workers important insights into mothers'adoptive experiences. Scholars of women's studies, social work, and sociology will find this volume useful as well.

The baby is screaming again. My baby. I hoist her off the narrow hotel bed--again--and try to cradle her as I rock my torso back and forth in an uncomfortable straight-backed chair. This baby does not cradle. She doesn't know how to cuddle, to be soothed in anyone's arms. She howls and arches away, squirms and flops, a sixteen-pound fish out of water. I'm not used to holding babies, and she's not used to be being held, but when I try to put her down, she wails. My arms feel chafed, raw, and my wrists ache from the hours of straining to hang on to her. Huge tears pool in her eyes. These tears could break my heart. These screams could break my eardrums. After years as a temporary college instructor with no real home—her family and longtime friends scattered—Nancy McCabe yearned to settle down, establish a place she could call home, and rear a child there. A tough academic job market led her to accept a position at a church-connected college in the deep South, a move that felt like an uneasy return to the conservative environment of her childhood that she thought she had left behind. McCabe had many reservations about rearing a child alone in this climate, but the desire to become a mother would not go away. Meeting Sophie tells the story of McCabe adopting a Chinese daughter and the many obstacles she faced during the adoption and adjustment process as she renegotiated her role within her family and fought difficulties in her job. Especially poignant is her struggle to bond with a sick, grieving baby while in a foreign country during political unrest—followed, upon her return to the U.S., by a devastating loss and a career crisis.