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The purpose of this qualitative study was to explore the responses and experiences of a sample of Swiss men after radical prostatectomy and their intimate partners. Interviews were conducted with 10 couples and analyzed using constant comparative method. Getting a grip on it was the core process that was developed. Men focused on regaining control over their lives, urinary and erectile function while wives efforts focused on being there. The results revealed that current clinical practice of follow up at 3 months may not address the serious deficits in the patient''s ability to “get a grip” on incontinence and other complications of surgery. [Copyright &y& Elsevier]