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As a corrective to an unbalanced focus on children’s problem and diagnoses, this study addresses the importance of recognizing the place of parenting within the context of clinical social work. Sixteen parents of children with or without behavioural problems were selected according to parents’ appraisal of the child-rearing situation, children’s problems and ages, parents’ marital status. The main finding was the seriousness of the situation for parents who have other problems in addition to a child’s behavioural problems. Knowledge of variations in family structures and normal family processes are important to prevent clinical cases from always being seen as deviant.

This article challenges the use of the concept of avoidance as dysfunctional in parenting, and questions research on parental coping practices in isolation from context. Sixteen parents with children with more or less behaviour problems were selected for analysis. The concept avoidance strategy constituted the analytical theme in situations associated with stress, and parents’ meaning making was the focus of analysis. Parental coping is not only related to internal processes, but also to the risk or opportunities in the social systems. All parents use avoidance actions in various ways, which may also be seen as adaptive and proactive actions. The meaning of age, gender, living conditions, social support, and the parents’ resources are significant in the framing of family life. It is significant to stretch the concept ‘normality’ to include more variation and diversity. By bringing in knowledge from ‘normal’ parenting processes into clinical practice, clinical cases may not always seem clinical.

In child psychiatric work strategies for engaging the family in strengthening the child’s coping should be included as part of the treatment plan. As family members experience the reality of the family differently, information from each family member provides a broader picture of the family. Clinicians can help the family achieve insights into relationships and roles by using a figure placement technique, the Kvebaek Family Sculpture Technique (KFST). We examined distances in KFST figure placements made by mothers, fathers and adolescents in order to explore closeness and distance, or family cohesion. We found that families often perceived changes in the perception of distance between family members following family therapy. Assessments by family members, as well as by clinicians, are needed to catch the complexity of family cohesion. A dialogue with the family about the various perspectives presented by family members contributes to a new understanding of family interaction.