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A model of mutual responsiveness in adult romantic relationships is proposed. Behaving responsively in conflict-of-interest situations requires one partner to resist the temptation to be selfish and the other partner to resist the temptation to protect against exploitation. Managing risk and the attendant temptations of self-interest require the interpersonal mind to function in ways that coordinate trust and commitment across partners. The authors describe a system of procedural or "if...then" rules that foster mutuality in responsiveness by informing and motivating trust and commitment. The authors further argue that tuning rule accessibility and enactment to match the situations encountered in a specific relationship shapes its personality. By imposing a procedural structure on the interdependent mind, the proposed model of mutual responsiveness reframes interdependence theory and generates important research questions for the future. (Contains 5 footnotes, 3 tables, and 2 figures.)

This research explored the possibility of feeling over-idealized, or “put on a pedestal” by a partner, examining whether there is an optimal level of perceived idealization, such that too little or too much is detrimental. Perceived over-idealization was manipulated experimentally with 99 dating couples (Study 1), and in surveys of 89 married (Study 2) and 156 dating couples (Study 3). Study 1 found that participants physically distanced themselves from their partners following a perceived over-idealization manipulation. Study 2 found curvilinear associations (i.e., positive up to a point, then negative) of satisfaction with perceived idealization of traits and abilities. Study 3 found a similar curvilinear association of perceived idealization of abilities with satisfaction, which appeared to be mediated by reduced accommodation and possibly also by threat to self, as suggested by theory. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]

The current study tested whether agreeableness, conscientiousness, and attachment styles would be associated with automatic accommodation in dating relationships. Accommodation refers to the tendency to respond to a romantic partner’s potentially destructive relationship act by inhibiting one’s own negative impulses and replacing them with a relatively deliberate, relationship enhancing act. Sixty-five young adult participants from a Canadian university participated online. Participants selected either constructive or destructive responses to hypothetical negative behaviors their partner enacted either under time pressure or normally. Results showed that the difference in level of accommodation between participants high and low in agreeableness and avoidance became even greater under time pressure, suggesting that for some people, accommodation may in fact be more automatic. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]

It is proposed that the cognitive structures that help sustain relationships depend on individuals embellishing the significance of virtues and minimizing the significance of faults within hierarchical, integrated representations of their partners. As a means of measuring representation structure, dating individuals were asked to write narratives describing their relationships and their partners' greatest faults and to complete card-sort descriptions of their partners. The results revealed that satisfied individuals find redeeming features in their partners' faults, construct "yes, but" refutations that minimize specific faults, and link virtues to faults within integrated, more general mental models. Moreover, these structural effects emerged in analyses that controlled for representation content. Impressively, the very stability of relationships depended on individuals forming such integrative mental ties in their representations of their partners. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]

Subjects were asked to form an impression of either an Irish or a Chinese stimulus person described by two traits. These traits were either part of the stereotype image of the stimulus person's ethnic group, or were unrelated to this image. Results showed that the Irish stereotype traits were used to characterize the Irish stimulus persons and Chinese stereotype traits were used to characterize the Chinese stimulus person, whatever their trait descriptions. In addition, when subjects characterized an individual described by traits unrelated to the individuals ethnic group stereotype, they included these traits in their impressions of that person. Thus the subjects' impressions of such a person included all the stereotype traits associated with the person's ethnic group and these unrelated traits. These results suggest that stereotypes play an important role in social perception. Specifically, the results support the notion that stereotypes are over-generalizations that are applied to any ethnic group member regardless of his or her individual characteristics. However, they also suggest that stereotypes do not act to minimize perceived individual differences between ethnic group members along dimensions independent of the stereotype image. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]

The authors argue that individuals regulate perceptions of their relationships in a self-protective way, finding virtue in their partners only when they feel confident that their partners also see virtues in them. In 4 experiments, the authors posed an acute threat to low and high self-esteem individuals' feelings of self-worth (e.g., guilt about a transgression, fears of being inconsiderate or intellectually inept). They then collected measures of confidence in the partner's positive regard and acceptance (i.e., reflected appraisals) and perceptions of the partner. The results revealed that low self-esteem individuals reacted to self-doubt with heightened doubts about their partners' regard, which then tarnished impressions of their partners. In contrast, high self-esteem individuals reacted to self-doubts by becoming more convinced of their partners' continued acceptance, using their relationships as a resource for self-affirmation. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]

Three experiments examined how needs for acceptance might constrain low versus high self-esteem people's capacity to protect their relationships in the face of difficulties. The authors led participants to believe that their partner perceived a problem in their relationship. They then measured perceptions of the partner's acceptance, partner enhancement, and closeness. Low but not high self-esteem participants read too much into problems, seeing them as a sign that their partner's affections and commitment might be waning. They then derogated their partner and reduced closeness. Being less sensitive to rejection, however, high self-esteem participants affirmed their partner in the face of threat. Ironically, chronic needs for acceptance may result in low self-esteem people seeing signs of rejection where none exist, needlessly weakening attachments. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]