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Introduction: This paper describes a qualitative study focusing on counsellors' perceptions of client progression when working with clients who intentionally self‐harm and the impact this has on the therapist. Method: Semi‐structured interviews were employed and the constant comparative method utilised to analyse the data. Findings: Findings indicate that counsellors experience intense emotions in response to self‐harm including: shock; sadness; anxiety; anger; and frustration. Counsellors also struggled to manage the tension between multiple dualities, corresponding to professional opinions of a seemingly polar opposite nature. Although participants indicated a requirement to work in a client‐led way, they all had either an explicit or implicit agenda for change. These two conflicting states create a tension for a counsellor that is difficult to resolve. In addition there were various views of client progression, yet all participants agreed that progression was not simply about stopping self‐harm. Conclusion: There is a significant impact on the counsellor when working with clients who intentionally self‐harm and the complexity of the phenomenon appears to exacerbate their anxiety. Implications: Further research within the counselling field focusing on the ambiguous nature of the subject may increase understanding, which in turn may contribute to greater therapist efficacy when working with this client group. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]