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This paper about the desire to keep even ourselves under control and in order, does not set out to show that the author, having himself under control and in order, is able to make masterful links between psychoanalytic theory and practice. It is a paper that takes up and illustrates with client work Socrates' argument in Plato's dialogue, Phaedrus, that although technical mastery and self-control are necessary, without the madness of love and passion, what is produced and the life that is lived is limited, arid, crude, unfulfilled and unfulfilling. The paper shows a passion for speaking and listening that may help to take our conversations outside the walls of the city: outside of where we usually speak and listen, outside of 'normal', 'natural' and permitted.This passion for listening and speaking is a divine madness, that can help to lift us out of foolish, complacent and calculative ways of being, inspiring us to consider and revere another person and our own existence. Love in this dialogue is not something that we have under our control. It is rather something that might lead us to philosophy as Plato seemed to value it, to speaking about what is important to us, to companionship and conversation. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]

Post-romanticism can be viewed as an historical construct that can be applied to singular experiences as well as broad understandings of change in couple and family relationships. This commentary focuses on the former approach, building on the six papers in this special issue. Four interconnected themes are explored: the relationship between falling in love and partner choice; the pull of narcissism and push of relating present in every developing love relationship; the experience of loss involved in surrendering illusion; and an exploration of what love in the consulting room might look like. The broad conclusion arrived at is that stable and satisfying relationships are post-romantic in the sense that they have in common the capacity to engage with and develop from the many minor deaths associated with enduring love. This provides a definition of the task therapists are often asked to assist with by those seeking help for troubled relationships. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]

This paper questions the idea that within families love should always be unconditional and raises the issue of family estrangement in the context of psychotherapy. It will look at whether there has been a generational shift towards individualism and consider how this affects the notion of love. Does the author respond to her clients from a belief that love should be unconditional or from a vicarious wish to be free from her own difficult family members? Is the therapeutic space available for the taboo of unconditional family love to be fully explored? The author will explore her experience as a psychological therapist working with people estranged from family in order to examine her own biases.Family relationships, as well as romantic relationships, are impacted by the culture we live in, and therapeutic relationships are affected by the therapist's unconscious and conscious biases. In response to the question posed the author concludes that love between adults is always conditional even if this is a truth we cannot fully accept. Although conditions on love may be seen as healthy in a romantic relationship, the bonds between family members are generally held up as sacrosanct and unbreakable. This makes the choice to walk away from family difficult for wider society, therapists and estranged individuals to bear. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]

The platonic dialogue, Symposium, is approached here through client work. This rich and complex text is not rushed through as if the point of a conversation must be its swift and clear termination, rather than how potentially fruitful, generative and transformative it is or may come to be when we reflect or engage in further conversation. This paper suggests that Symposium presents us with two ways of thinking about relating to another, and ends with some remarks about this platonic dialogue and psychotherapy that could, of course, be followed by more conversation. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]