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This paper explores and contrasts personal philosophies based on two different core values, control and relation, with respect to expectations, social relationships, habits of perception and interpretation, and ways of feeling grounded in the world. The paradigm of control is widespread in medicine and certain other health professions, but because it fosters unrealistic expectations, evokes fear and shame, and inhibits effective partnerships, it can actually compromise health outcomes. The paradigm of relation calls attention to interpersonal process and fosters receptivity and adaptability, thus enhancing partnership. A mature clinical approach combines these two perspectives, respecting both the benefits and limitations of reductionistic science and making room for self-organization and emergence. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]