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Aim: To identify the circumstances in which it would be easier for nurses who find themselves in the role of 'patient' or 'relative' to complain when they have received or witnessed care or treatment they feel could be improved. Design: A qualitative interview study. Methods: Data were collected using a semi-structured interview with 12 nurse patients and nurse relatives in Scotland. All interviews were face to face, recorded, transcribed and thematically analysed using Reflexive Thematic Analysis (Braun and Clarke, 2013, 2022). Results: Participants provided rich and often harrowing accounts of their experiences of receiving or witnessing care. The analysis produced the following themes: Insider/outsider (overarching); 1. Through the nursing lens with subthemes (i) It's all magnified, (ii) Blurred boundaries (iii) The hidden code; 2. Loss of trust; 3. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil; and 4. Using my insight to make a difference. Conclusion: While their insider knowledge gave a unique insight into the experience of care and treatment, the complexity of the nurse patient's and nurse relative's insider/outsider position also made it difficult for them to complain when they received or witnessed poor care. Changes to leadership, policy, practice and education are required to make it easier for nurse patients and nurse relatives to complain so that the opportunity to learn from their rich experience is not lost. Impact: The limited evidence available about the experience of nurses who find themselves in the role of patient or relatives of patients comes from different countries suggesting that this study is of international interest. Previously under researched, this study contributes to the existing body of evidence by looking uniquely at the experience of nurse-patients and nurse-relatives through the lens of complaints.