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Conversation regarding the challenges and pressures that Early Career Academics (ECAs) face in the current context of the neoliberal university sector has begun to grow generally, and in the field of Physical Education and Sport Pedagogy (PESP) in particular. However, the additional challenges faced by non-white PESP academics in their early careers have, as yet, been absent from the ECA conversation. In this paper, I draw upon my own experiences as a non-white, female ECA with English as an additional language (EAL), working in the field of PESP in a developed English-speaking country, to explore racialised discourses and practices in the academia. To do so, I make use of a critical whiteness lens and an autoethnographic approach. In the analysis of the narratives, I invite others to reflect on how race is socially constructed, on the 'extra effort' that non-white academics with EAL must expend in order to survive colour-blind academia, and on the limited options for agency among non-white ECAs. The paper concludes with reflections on how academics need to open the dialogue 'just a bit more' to include non-white academics in the conversation about ECAs working in neoliberal university contexts to create spaces for equitable work. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]

This paper explores the tensions that surfaced as a teacher of physical education (PE) shifted his ‘stories to live by’ [Clandinin, D. J., & Connelly, F. M. (1999). Storying and restorying ourselves: Narrative and reflection. In A. Y. Chen & J. Van Maanen (Eds.),The reflective spin: Case studies of teachers in higher education transforming action(pp. 15–23). Singapore: World Scientific] around PE. The tensions became explicit when his shifting ‘stories to live by’ bumped against dominant narratives of PE that shaped his professional knowledge landscape. Our inquiry is framed by Dewey's pragmatic ontology [(1938).Experience and education. New York, NY: Collier Books] and Clandinin and Connelly's [(1995).Teachers’ professional knowledge landscapes. New York, NY: Teachers College Press] narrative conception of experience as the living and telling, re-telling and re-living, of stories of experience. We also draw on Connelly and Clandinin's [(1999). Storied identities: Storied landscapes. New York, NY: Teachers College Press] narrative conception of identity as ‘stories to live by’ which is an embodied, fluid and context-dependent view of identity as situated at the interface between personal practical knowledge and professional knowledge landscapes. We begin with situating this work within the broader spectrum of narrative research. We then describe the relational processes of re-telling the stories through narrative inquiry and finally explore the re-living of these stories in order to show the tensions that surfaced as Ashley's ‘stories to live by’ shifted. We engage in the narrative inquiry process of re-telling using the three-dimensional narrative inquiry space (with dimensions of place, sociality, temporality), to show tensions and shifting identities. We conceptualize these tensions as moments of autobiographical revisions [Carr, D. (1986).Time narrative and history. Bloomington: Indiana University Press]. These revisions are seen as a part of a person's struggle for narrative coherence; a struggle to compose a life in the professional knowledge landscape that is meaningful to each individual. In these moments of autobiographical revision we show the reflexive relationship between living, telling, re-telling and re-living of stories. We end by considering what we have learned about our own stories to live by through this process and theoretically and practically suggest ways other teacher educators and physical educators might benefit from engaging in narrative inquiry work. [ABSTRACT FROM PUBLISHER]