This article presents an essay on the state of hair styles in modern hockey. Modern Hockey is in a sorry state. It's evident in the glaring tastelessness of many teams' uniforms. It's evident in the classic-rock audio clips played at arenas. It's evident in the newest franchises, many of which are placed in cities where no little boy, no matter how peculiar, would ever dream of playing hockey when he grows up. The game's overlords have finally woken up to the effects of their corporate callousness and are banking on hockey heritage and nostalgia to fix things up. But alas, it could be all for naught unless we pay serious attention to the ever-decreasing number of bad hairstyles in professional hockey. Goals come and go. Uniforms too. Stats become trivial. But no one forgets what Darryl Sittler looked like in the '70s. Hockey hair is the paragon of the game's culture and the epitome of a player's style: a reflection of ambition, confidence and self-esteem. Mandatory helmet regulations gave us the mullet, a look championed by Jaromir Jagr. The mullet made hockey hair even better, but it wasn't universal. Hockey hairstyles remained varied, fiercely personal hallmarks of each player. But they weren't style-drivers. Unlike the exhibitionist trend-setters in other sports hockey hair was rarely imitated because no one intentionally got their hair cut like a hockey player. With the hair came wealth, power and love. For instance, when Wayne Gretzky signed with Edmonton for a record amount, he created the next hockey hair fad. Before Gretzky, it would have taken a gun to the head to convince a fella to consider a man-perm. After Gretzky, even the burliest goons were sporting them. And their salaries took off, as did their stature and importance. If professional hockey is really serious about the use of heritage as a way to bring us back the game the way we loved it, come draft time there had better be some pretty stiff hair requirements.