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This paper reconsiders Judith Kestenberg's classic work "Outside and Inside, Male and Female" in the light of subsequent work on gender identity and psycho-sexual development. Kestenberg argued that the fear of internal genital sensations was common to both men and women and an obstacle to sexual development. An understanding of the fears and phantasies men and women have about their bodies which they project onto each other is an important aspect of therapeutic work, which the author believes does not receive adequate attention. Through two case examples she shows where Kestenberg's theory is still valid and where it needs to be revised. While Kestenberg could assume a normative heterosexuality, the author suggests we must now reexamine our theories in the light of challenges presented by homosexuality, bisexuality and transexuality. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]