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In this paper, I highlight four distinct but interconnected areas of my life history that I refer to as autobiographic poetic waves. These waves are layered with the complex underpinning of racial, linguistic, gendered, classed, and professional identity politics that continue to not only liberate but also subjugate me at times. These autobiographic poetic waves highlight my experiences as a hyphenated Korean-American woman living in the midst of discourses that continue to privilege dominant ideologies that contradict my lived experiences, yet permeate through every fiber of my being as a member of the academic community. Hence, I focus on two questions: In what ways, do I perceive and understand my lived experiences as a Korean-American, second language writer, English teacher, teacher-scholar, and Mama PhD? And, how can my understanding of these lived experiences further influence the work I do as a teacher-educator? Learning from and moved by the work of Hanauer (2012a, 2012b, 2013), my autobiographical-poetic rendition is an epistemological and ontological revolution that involves understanding my life history as four distinct but interconnected waves: (1) Immigration and Emergence of Hyphenated Identities; (2) Legitimization of the Hyphenated Identities in Higher Education; (3) Epistemological and Ontological Revolution; (4) Perception of Mama PhDs. These waves are interspersed with an extended version of the poem, Untitled, I wrote in 1984. I focus on the loss, divide, privileges, disenfranchisement, and identity that have permeated my life history since my family’s immigration. I conclude with implications for the field of TESOL teacher education.

In this paper, I highlight four distinct but interconnected areas of my life history that I refer to as autobiographic poetic waves. These waves are layered with the complex underpinning of racial, linguistic, gendered, classed, and professional identity politics that continue to not only liberate but also subjugate me at times. These autobiographic poetic waves highlight my experiences as a hyphenated Korean-American woman living in the midst of discourses that continue to privilege dominant ideologies that contradict my lived experiences, yet permeate through every fiber of my being as a member of the academic community. Hence, I focus on two questions: In what ways, do I perceive and understand my lived experiences as a Korean-American, second language writer, English teacher, teacher-scholar, and Mama PhD? And, how can my understanding of these lived experiences further influence the work I do as a teacher-educator? Learning from and moved by the work of Hanauer (2012a, 2012b, 2013), my autobiographical-poetic rendition is an epistemological and ontological revolution that involves understanding my life history as four distinct but interconnected waves: (1) Immigration and Emergence of Hyphenated Identities; (2) Legitimization of the Hyphenated Identities in Higher Education; (3) Epistemological and Ontological Revolution; (4) Perception of Mama PhDs. These waves are interspersed with an extended version of the poem, Untitled, I wrote in 1984. I focus on the loss, divide, privileges, disenfranchisement, and identity that have permeated my life history since my family’s immigration. I conclude with implications for the field of TESOL teacher education.

The study focused on five East Asian women matriculated in U.S. TESOL teacher education programs. Han Nah Jung, Liu Li, Xia Wang, Yu Ri Koh, and Shu-Ming Fung recounted journeying through their educational experiences in their native countries as well as in the United States. The purposes of this study were to (1) deepen and enrich our understanding of the women?s diverse educational journeys, (2) uncover the ideological nature of the lives of these women who may have become marginalized due to the issues of race, gender, and language, (3) look at their experiences as juxtaposed to my own as a person with both insider and outsider perspectives, and (4) use the women?s narratives to make recommendations for improving TESOL teacher education programs. This study explored the lived experiences of five East Asian women, utilizing a past-present-future timeline (e.g., Looking Back, Reflecting On, and Thinking Forward), grounded in critical and feminist perspectives, to examine how those experiences shaped their identities in different learning and teaching communities. This was accomplished through the utilization of electronic reflective autobiographical questions, electronic educational journal entries, in-depth interviews, and informal/formal conversations. The analysis of their narratives, as grounded in critical and feminist perspectives, revealed the interconnectedness between language, race, gender, and social class which were all deeply embedded in their educational journeys. Specifically, the women, despite being from primarily privileged backgrounds, experienced varying degrees of marginalization within their TESOL programs as a result of issues pertaining to language, gender, and race. However, their pre-service and/or volunteer teaching experiences served to heighten their identities as burgeoning English (Korean) language teachers. Findings from the studies such as this should serve to begin dialogues around renewing and reconceptualizing better TESOL curric