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This article draws on two in-depth stories of an Arab-Danish Muslim woman and an Arab-Danish Muslim man to explore how they 'do gender' when 'doing care' for their elderly parents in their everyday lives. Analysis of ethnographic material reveals that for the Arab-Danish Muslim woman, 'doing care' is regarded as a right which provides her with the opportunity to become irreplaceable and enables her to realize herself. In her self-realization, it is argued, lies a reproduction of gendered understanding of caregiving that seems to prevent the Muslim man from performing the desired role as caregiver, leaving him to struggle with the entrenched gender norms and structured ideals of masculinity. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]